Today at work on account of the ridiculous weather outside, myself and a few others at work decided to check out the local Cottage Inn on E. Lafayette in Detroit to have some pizza delivered. I have never been the biggest fan of Cottage Inn, but it has been quite a few years since tasting their pizza, so I figured now was a good time to check it out once more.
Big mistake.
The process started out easily enough. Their website made it very simple for online ordering and presented all your options right there in front of you using Flash graphics and even adding clicking sound effects to make your pizza ordering experience slightly more exciting. So for the three of us, we ordered an Extra Large deep dish pizza with buttered crust, half ham and green pepper, the other half green pepper, onions, and banana peppers. To top it off we ordered a small order of breadsticks. Part of me felt like it was this video game waiting to be conquered and that the reward would be the ability to eat their pizza. A reward that I would soon find out might never come.
After receiving the requisite confirmation e-mail, I patiently waited for the arrival of the pizza. Excitement was coursing through my veins. A slight hesitancy existed as a result of the horrific weather conditions. How long would a delivery person take in weather like this? So, approximately one hour after ordering the pizza, I called.
Operator: "Cottage Inn, can you please hold?"
Pizza Man Sean: "Sure."
I waited for at least five minutes listening to an incessant beeping that would have been more functional if it was actually sonar instead of a repeating hold tone.
Operator: "How can I help you?"
Pizza Man Sean: "Yes, I placed an online order approximately an hour ago, and I'm sure that you guys are a little behind but I just wanted to make sure that you received it."
She then asked for my name. Then my phone number. Then my address.
Things went downhill from here.
Operator: "We have only had three online orders today and none of those are here."
Oh great.
Pizza Man Sean: "Well, I'm looking at the confirmation e-mail right here that says it was received."
Operator: "Hold on one second."
I proceed to hold for longer than one second, which was rather unfortunate as I was still at work and instead of doing actual work, I was waiting for some information on pizza. After a few more moments, she returns to the line and informs me that somewhere the internet order WAS received but she never got it and needed to have it faxed back over to her. Fortunately, she said that she would have it over as quickly as possible. A task I did not think would require too much effort since the pizzeria was less than a half mile away from here.
So again. Back to waiting.
Another hour passes and still no pizza. At this point it's 2:15 and I have been waiting over two hours for my pizza. The hunger sets in and I am unfortunately unable to concentrate on my work with the looming prospect of pizza on the horizon. So again, I call. And again, I'm on hold for an exceptional amount of time. But when I finally get someone, I am told the words I have been longing to hear: The Pizza Is On Its Way.
Again because the pizza place is only a half a mile away from here, I assume this means it will be here in a matter of seconds, not minutes. Yet minutes is exactly what I get. About 30 to be exact. So at 2:45, I call again.
Operator: "I have just been informed that the manager is pulling up right now so she should be up any second."
I decide to walk downstairs to intercept any sort of miscommunication on the part of the address. This is precisely what I have done since the delivery woman is out there. Waiting. In her vehicle. Not moving. Which ultimately means she's not putting a pizza in my hands. So I wave to the vehicle and she gets out and walks inside to give me the pizza. Since it was paid with credit card, there was no money that exchanged hands, although I did ask because this was a near 3 hour wait, if a discount was in order. She agreed, but said I would need to call back with the credit card number since the internet company does not give her that info.
But now, on to the pizza.
The pizza arrived slightly warm but not what I would consider to be a standard temperature for a delivered pizza. Especially one that came from a place so close. To add insult to injury, the pizza itself was topped completely wrong. The toppings that were supposed to be half and half were put over the entire pizza, with no regard for halves. Apparently the sheet wasn't clear on that.
Most of the toppings were placed underneath the cheese, making it difficult to peel off but I think often gives a more delicious taste because it feels more integrated as a whole instead of just layers. The ham was cut into small squares and were very soft, the green peppers were cut small and fortunately the onions were not so overwhelming that I couldn't eat the pizza. The crust was a little crunchier than I prefer it and although it wasn't stale by any stretch of the imagination, there was a sort of stale feel that I had to the crust.
The sauce was also slightly bland but was sufficient enough to do the job. And the cheese was decidedly average, despite Cottage Inn's touting of a three-cheese blend. All the while the buttered crust that we ordered did not seem to be all that buttered, but more buttery than a normal pizza I suppose.
The breadsticks were tasty and baked with cheese, a garlic, buttery spread, and sprinkled with some parmesan cheese, all dipped in that same pizza sauce.
The two others with whom I ate the pizza liked it quite a bit, although they did admit that some of this might be a result of just being so hungry. Me? I'm not the one to let hunger get in the way of quality pizza, and this, to me, was not much quality, regardless of the amount of time it took for it to be delivered.
So, after eating the pizza, I went back to call them with the credit card numbers. Unfortunately, the woman who I was apparently supposed to talk to was not there and they hung up the phone before I could ask when she would return. As a result, I have since decided that trying to deal with any sort of discount is futile and would rather take the hit than sit on the phone for another half hour trying to hammer it out. My time is much more important than that.
Ultimately this was a waste of time and money. There was no reason for us to have gone through so much effort for such an average pizza. Had it arrived with less of an issue, they would assuredly be getting a better grade, but as it stands, Pizza Man Sean is not impressed.
PIZZA GRADE: C+
RESTAURANT EXPERIENCE: D
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